Sippycup

Scenes From Sarah's

Owen and Stewart have been playing together so much more ever since the baby was born. I suppose they have to because I have so much less time to amuse them. This has lead to the invention of all kinds of interesting new games.

Several times a day, they gather their "friends" on my bed (a cadre of stuffed dogs) and drive them to the beach where they feed them cotton candy, Skittles and Baby Bottle Pops, and issue plenty of time-outs. It's hilarious to hear Stewart tell his dog to sit there for "three minutes," and then to ask it "why you in time-out?"

Another new one is the "GRRRR" game, which initially had Kyle and I stumped. We'd be taking care of the baby, or preparing dinner, and hear the boys plotting to go "wake the GRRRR." We just looked at each other in confusion, thinking "GRRR" was some imaginary monster. Well, just today I discovered that the "GRRRRRR" game involves badgering our dog Krycek in some way until he growls at them- hence the "grrrrr." So now we've put a stop to that one.

The boys have also discovered several new ways of torturing each other when they are bored. Owen likes to tell Stewart that he is either a girl or a robot, which gets Stewart all worked up to the point where he has to appeal to me pathetically: "Mommy...I'm not a girl. I'm a boy!" or "Mommy, I'm not a robot, I'm Stewie!"

Stewart gets Owen back by taking special treasures from Owen's bed and waving them under his nose chanting "THIS IS NOT YOURS, THIS IS MINE!" and then running away giggling.

Other games are more along the lines of generalized mischief.

Today, I came into the living room after changing the baby's diaper to find two very guilty faces and blocks strewn all over the floor. "I wasn't throwing any blocks!" declared Owen, as if I'd asked. Talk about your guilty conscience. Stewart, who is nothing if not totally honest, giggled and said, "We're throwing blocks!"

Aye. Well, at least they're finding ways to pass the time!

Scenes From The Backyard: Boy, Oh Boy!

The backyard gang would like for you to meet it's newest member Wilbur James Ford.

Born Thursday, June 1, 2006

8 pounds 9 ounces

19 inches

Congratulations Sarah and Kyle!!!!!!

Backyard Terminology

To fully understand the workings of the backyard, you need to be familiar with the terminology. So in the interest of making our backyard stories clear, here are some of our more heavily used backyard terms. Think of it as a crash course in the minds of four pre-schoolers- and two grown women who have spent WAY too much time with pre-schoolers.

1. A Shelly; Noun as in "I hear a Shelly!"; A mourning dove. Marylou had a pair of them nesting on her porch which Emma named Shelly and Sheldon. Consequently, any mourning dove is now a Shelly.

2. Warm & Chubby; Noun as in "The warm & chubby is on!"; Adjective as in "I'm getting all warm & chubby"; The dryer vent at Marylou's. When it is on, the kids sit next to it and put their bare feet up to it, allowing them to get warm & chubby. We're really not sure why they get chubby, but we've decided to go with it. We've actually put quarters in the dryer for no reason other than to entertain them in this manner.

3. Toot; Noun as in "I found a toot!"; A rubber band, preferably a dirty one from the sidewalk that recently held a copy of the L.A. Times or a sales flyer from Rite-Aid. Origin TOTALLY unknown.

4. The Thick of It; Noun as in "I wanna go to the thick of it!"; A cluster of bushes in front of the apartment building at the corner of Franklin and Pennsylvania. The kids like to bushwhack their way through it like explorers and sing the "Into the Thick of It" song from The Backyardigans.

5. Little Piggy; Noun as in "I'm a little piggy!"; A child who wants to be chased will typically offer up the suggestion that they are a little piggy so that I can be the Big Bad Wolf and go after them. See Also: Time-out.

6. Time-Out; Noun; 1. A punishment as in "You have a time-out for hitting Sean." 2. An invitation to be chased wherein the child will assign him/herself a time-out, and then leap up from the time-out chair and race around the lawn, hoping to be followed and tickled.

7. Nicky; Adjective as in "No, that one's Nicky."; Small or baby-sized. Marylou's sister's youngest is named Nick, and although he is no longer the youngest or the smallest of our acquaintance, old habits die hard. Little rocks, little caterpillars, little pillbugs are all Nickys.

8. Roly-Poly Heaven; Noun as in "I found another roly-poly Heaven."; A rock pile, log, tree stump, or compost pile that houses any more than two pillbugs (commonly called roly-polies). Note: The word "Heaven" can also be added to snails, slugs, flies, praying mantises, ladybugs, and any other creature of interest when found in numbers greater than two. Owen recently found Snail Heaven right near the Thick of It, for example.

Scenes from the Backyard: The Players

Name: Owen Elliott Ford
A.K.A: Owie-Owie-Owie (all three must be said)
Age: 4
Born: April 2, 2002
Birth Weight: 6 lb., 4 oz.
Favorite Foods: Fruit snacks, Wheat Thins
Food that he requests but NEVER actually eats: String cheese
Dislikes: Sharing the contents of his backpack
Favorite Backyard Pastimes: Throwing tennis balls at the wall, capturing earthworms and pillbugs, dressing up like a princess (only wish I were kidding)
Coined Phrases Like: "Oh, Mant!", “Hey, I was having that first”
Backyard Rule Specially Invented for Him: No Dumping! No antagonizing!
Warning: Hide your fruit snacks! He's ravenous and sneaky.

Name: Emma Lauren Hanna
A.K.A:  Emma-wemma
Age: 3
Born: February 1, 2003
Birth Weight: 6 lb., 4oz.
Favorite Foods: Cheese, Fruit, Veggies (yup, she likes them. Weirdo)
Foods that she requests but NEVER actually eats: Yogurt
Favorite Backyard Pastimes: Swinging sticks around, drawing with sidewalk chalk, collecting bugs with Owie, and Dress up (also with Owie)
Favorite Phrases: “Well, actually…”,  “But I’m three, so I should get three” and “But green’s my favorite color”
Backyard Rules Specially Invented for Her: The sidewalk chalk is only to be used on the SIDEWALK!  Everything is not always in three’s or light green!  The sand stays in the SANDBOX!
Warning: This child is highly allergic to silence, she can AND WILL talk your ear off (sometimes both)

Name: Stewart Andrew Ford
A.K.A:  Stewie, Stew-Stew, Stew-sta-bell
Age: 2
Born: October 31, 2003
Birth Weight: 8 lbs, 9 oz.
Favorite Foods: Strawberries, string cheese, Cheetos
Food that he requests but NEVER actually eats: can't think of one... Marylou?  Nope (at least we know he won’t die of starvation)
Dislikes: Wheels that don't turn, and doors that don’t open
Favorite Backyard Pastimes: Driving the Little Tikes cars, phoning from the playhouse to let everyone know "the monster's coming!"
Favorite Phrase: "I was just...", and recently “Hey, I was having that first”
Backyard Rules Specially Invented for Him: BE NICE TO SEANY! ASK, don't scream, Stay off the bark (so you don’t get clocked by the swing).
Warning: If you hear the words "I was just..." come out of his mouth, you KNOW he was "just" doing something naughty!

Name: Sean Matthew Hanna
A.K.A.: Seany, Chauncey (yeah, dad’s not crazy about that one)
Age: 20 months
Born: August 12, 2004
Birth Weight: 6 lbs, 6 oz.
Favorite Foods: Fruit and Salads (I know, another weirdo, I swear they didn’t get it from me…I want a DNA test)
Food that he requests but NEVER actually eats:  Haven’t met one yet
Dislikes: His mommy going more than 5 feet away from him, Stewart picking on him (sorry dude, you have to pay your dues just like Stew did-blame Emma)
Favorite Backyard Pastime: Playing in the sandbox, driving Little Tikes car, chatting with his imaginary friend on the phone
Favorite Phrase: I want MOMMY!!!!!
Backyard Rules Specially Invented for Him: No eating sand!
Warning: This is the most sensitive male ever to step foot in the backyard, he is not afraid to show his sensitive side (that means he cries all the time).

Name: Sarah Ellen Ford
A.K.A.: Sawa
Age: 27
Born: August 15, 1978
Birth Weight: Good God, I don't know
Favorite Foods: Cupcakes, Cheetos
Dislikes: Screaming, accidents caused by sheer stupidity
Favorite Backyard Pastimes: Sitting for three minutes in a row without solving an argument and issuing time-outs
Favorite Phrase: "If you would just LISTEN to Mom..."
Warning: She's faster than she looks- I wouldn't recommend leaving the time-out chair.

Name: Maria de Lourdes Hanna
A.K.A.: Marylou
Age: 408 months
Born: May 4, 1972
Birth Weight: I was the third child, so no one remembers (but I’m not bitter)
Favorite Foods: Definitely NOT Fruit and Salads, anything fried and salty
Dislikes: Whining. Whining for no reason. Whining for a good reason.
Favorite Backyard Pastimes:  Watching the kids argue with one another, at least they’re not arguing with me
Favorite Phrase: "Here’s the deal..."
Warning: She does not believe in empty threats

Introduction to "Scenes From the Backyard"

Steve and I are yet another young family that cannot afford a home in California. But we have been fortunate enough to live in great little apartment in Santa Monica. Best of all, our apartment is surrounded by the best neighbors this side of the Mississippi. We also have something almost unheard of in Los Angeles-a backyard. 

Over the years, this little area has been transformed with some sweat and lots of love into the “The Backyard”.

This petite patch of green has been home to many sloppy sandbox cakes, sopping sprinkler days, tricycle traffic jams, and good ol’ backyard BBQ’s.

Earlier this year, we decided to reseed the backyard and were instructed to stay off for two whole months. It was then that we, the entire crew, found ourselves “backyardless." It was also then, when we realized the yard was no longer a luxury but a necessity. 

We were forced to seek out new locations for our many adventures.  That meant lugging snacks, sweaters, diapers, wipes, tricycles and a million sand toys to our local parks. Every day! This was not easy and surprisingly not as enjoyable as just rolling around on our own grass.

Finally, our little chunk of nature was ready and we haven’t been happier.

We have shared so many good times in the backyard that we, Sarah and I, have decided to add this as a weekly segment.  Since there are already too many stories to share, we’ll just go on from this point forward.

Needless to say, with a yard full of kids it’s only a matter of time before something ridiculous happens. Especially when helped along by any snack containing more than 3 grams of sugar.

So stay tuned for next week's “Scenes from the Backyard.”